Sweet Xenia

What must it be like to find yourself no longer wanted, being turned out of your home and then handed off from one strange person to another, to another…,  sitting in a car for almost two days having no idea what has happened or where you are headed.  “Will anyone want me?  Why did they let me go?  Did they not love me?  Did I do something wrong? Will I ever have a forever family again? What is to become of me????”  
You could see it in Xenia’s eyes, at first.  She was nervous, uneasy, tired but afraid to sleep.  It had been a long day.  But as we drove on and I spoke to her in a soft, loving voice as I rubbed her head and sides and she began to relax.  We talked for a long time.  Eventually she fell sound to sleep, totally relaxed.  When we met our next transporter it was dark so Xenia’s first reaction was to bark but upon seeing Audrey up close her tail started wagging.  She was no longer afraid to jump out of the car.  She wagged around me before jumping into the next car knowing that was the routine.  She was happy at that point and even gave me a lick on the hand as I stuck it throught the window saying goodbye and off she went on the next leg of her long journey.  As I stood there I felt such mixed emotions.  Happy for the fact that Xenia was being given a chance at a happy forever home but sad in that I felt like after gaining her trust and friendship I just handed her off.  She doesn’t understand why which is why I felt bad.  Needless to say, I have always been a foster failure which is why I had 7 dogs at one time.  Go Xenia!!